Since Nate and I set a date, I’ve been trying to disseminate the information of the date to our friends and family. In the modern age, this is absurdly easy (and shows me that save the date cards are just a waste of paper). I’ve also told my boss, who is excited and immediately told me to give her an invitation so she can see it, but will decline and send a nice gift since, as she puts it, having your boss at your wedding will always make it weird. (This is probably untrue in this particular case, but I appreciate the sentiment.)
I’ve also told my mom who is disseminating it to the rest of my family. My family is not large, so fully half of the “family” is comprised of people I’m not related to, but were there for most of my childhood. So far, everyone has been supportive, friendly, and is busy marking their calendars.
However, when Nate and I first announced our engagement (back in March) we were immediately bombarded with questions about our wedding. I hadn’t given it a great deal of thought aside from a few details (no white dress, for example), but suddenly a number of friends and acquaintances had strong opinions. Some common questions were:
Will it be a themed wedding? (Nate and I both work Dickens and Renaissance Fair(e)s, and themed weddings are common among those groups.) Will I have to wear a costume? Are you going to make your own dress? Are you going to try to lose weight before the wedding? Will there be dancing? Will you get married in a church? Where will it be? How big? Who is officiating? Who will be in your wedding party? What are your colors?
Ultimately, with the exception of the weight question, these are all reasonable and worth thinking about, but it alarms me how quickly something that I thought of as being rather private is fodder for conversation among people I don’t know well.
At the top of the blog there is a FAQ page which we’ve started and it addresses the major questions, as well as a few with tongue-in-cheek answers. Nate and I are probably incapable of doing anything without our tongues firmly planted in our cheeks (hurr… ahem), so any answer in which we tell you to sod off should probably be treated as humorous. You may have no sense of humor at all, in which case you should probably stop reading this blog right now. Like, seriously. This will not go well for you.
In an effort to field those questions, I’ve made a tag for FAQ, and if I feel the questions are particularly important or the answers are useful, I’ll add them to the FAQ page. In the meantime, answers to questions:
Will it be a themed wedding?
Not as such, but the image we like and want to convey is a 1950s cocktail party. Ladies in cocktail dresses, gentlemen in suits. There will be no sit-down dinner, but instead we will have an hors d’oeuvres and cocktail reception so we can get directly to the dancing as soon as possible.
Will I have to wear a costume?
Not at all. It’s a cocktail event, so cocktail attire is suggested. (That’s cocktail dresses for ladies, suits for gents… or the other way around if that’s your bag. We don’t judge.) It’s also outdoors and there’s a rather extensive lawn in the courtyard, so spike heels may not be your best choice. That being said, we would love it if you joined us in our 50s inspired image. Ladies, think fitted bodices with poofy skirts. Gentlemen, think fedoras. If you look in the mirror on your way out the door and think that you’d fit into a mid-century Chicago gangster flick, then you will have succeeded admirably.
Are you going to make your own dress?
I wasn’t originally, but the pattern that I’ve found and like for my dress is so absurdly simple that I will be. I am, however, making three test-runs of the dress in various fun fabrics. You know, for science.
Are you going to try to lose weight before the wedding?
No. I’m comfortable with the way I look and how I move. I don’t see any reason to make myself any crazier by trying to diet before the wedding. If I happen to lose weight between now and then because I’m exercising more, great. Otherwise, this isn’t a priority. Also, why on earth would you ask me that?
Will there be dancing?
Hell, yes. Prepare for a lot of swing and waltz music, and for god’s sake, in addition to your Awesome(tm) shoes, wear comfortable ones for dancing.
Will you get married in a church?
Only if we want to risk lightning strikes. Nate’s sort of spiritual on a good day, and I’m an atheistic-nihilist with secular-humanist tendencies. God’s an okay dude, but we’re not religious and our wedding is a secular union between people , not a religious one between people and God.
Where will it be?
Novato, CA at the Inn Marin.
We’re looking at a more intimate affair with close friends and family. We understand that means that we will not be able to invite everyone that we would like to, but for space and budget concerns, we’re trying to keep things manageable.
Who is officiating?
Who will be in your wedding party?
What are your colors?
I never realized how much people desperately want to know the answer to this and in fact, how crazy-invested they are in the answer. So, Nate and I are looking at peacock colors. My dress is peacock blue. My bridal party is basically every other color under the sun and none of them match (but we’re all wearing the same dress, which we’re making, because we’re crazy). We’re incorporating more gold and peacock feathers into something approximating a decorating scheme, but hell. Give us some time. We’re getting into our busiest season!